Speak from the heart!

The Psychological Journey Since Publishing the Book!

Last night, unable to sleep in the middle of the night, I got up and wrote this!

Awake in the dead of night, my thoughts turned to the question of when this book would officially launch. At that time, I had no idea of the exact date, but I always had the feeling it wouldn’t be too far off. When the book was first submitted for PK (an evaluation phase), the results seemed mediocre. I’d heard that if a book failed PK, it would be put on the shelf directly. I wasn’t entirely sure about the process—most of it was hearsay.

To me, this book came as a pleasant surprise! Nearly two months ago, around this very same time, I was suddenly struck by insomnia. My mind was flooded with ideas about this book, and I couldn’t sleep a wink all night. Early next morning, just after dawn—around seven o’clock—I groggily climbed out of bed, pressed a hot towel to my face, turned on the computer, opened Word, and began to write.

Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I ordered takeout for lunch, never left my dorm, and kept writing until after eleven at night, forgetting even to eat dinner. When I finally looked at my progress—around twelve thousand words for the opening—I was filled with a sense of accomplishment. It may have been my most productive and well-focused writing session ever.

The next day, I got up around six and dove right back in. The results were similar: by nightfall, I’d written about thirteen thousand words, even more than the day before. In two days, I’d churned out roughly twenty-five thousand words—a personal record for someone as uncoordinated at the keyboard as myself.

That night, despite the ache in my back and waist, I revised and polished those two days’ worth of material several times. With a nervous heart, I sent the manuscript by email to my editor, Boss Latiao. I waited anxiously for a few days without news. I knew responses take time, so I tried to be patient, but deep down, I felt a little discouraged, assuming my submission had been rejected. So that night, I revised my opening again, added a few thousand more words, and resent it to Boss Latiao.

Two or three days later, I received a reply. When I saw the editor's message, “You can sign a contract, contact me with ten thousand words to discuss signing,” I nearly jumped with excitement, despite being a senior on the verge of graduation.

On April 1st—yes, April Fool’s Day—I uploaded the first chapter to the website’s author backend. After a few days, when I’d accumulated ten thousand words, I contacted Boss Latiao again. He replied with a single word: “Good.” Editors are always busy, so their replies are brief, but that one word warmed my heart. That afternoon, I received the contract notice, filled out the details, printed the contract, mailed it, and so began the daily grind of updates.

In the second week after the contract was updated—when the book had just about fifty thousand words, actually a bit less—the first recommendation came: a prominent feature in the games category of the QQ Reading App. There was no notification, and Boss Latiao hadn’t mentioned it. I stumbled upon it by chance and was stunned. My initial reaction wasn’t delight, but utter bewilderment. I knew how valuable that recommendation was—far more than I’d dared hope for. My imagined first recommendation was just a tiny text link in the games section on the PC site, with neither image nor description. I thought that if I could get such a trial recommendation and it performed well, maybe there’d be more to come. But I never expected a full-blown app recommendation out of the blue!

For days, I was dazed by this unexpected favor, even suspecting there’d been a system error. Amid the recommendations for my cohort, my book wasn’t the best performing—actually, it ranked last. I panicked a little, but I accepted it; I knew I still had a lot to learn. Nonetheless, that recommendation took my book from a mere twenty-one favorites to over three or four thousand. To this day, I remember exactly how many favorites I had before the recommendation, because from the moment I published, I was constantly refreshing the stats—every new favorite would keep me excited for hours.

From then on, my book was no longer alone. I was no longer writing in isolation. Gradually, people began to click, favorite, recommend, and reward the book. Its performance steadily improved.

Later, at the suggestion of some readers, I created a group chat. What started as just a handful of people grew to over seventy, all quite active and getting along harmoniously. This has been my greatest comfort and pride. Of course, there are also readers who haven’t joined the group, but we still interact in the book’s comments section, sometimes joking around. Thanks to this book, we’ve crossed paths online, become acquainted, and that’s perhaps the greatest reward of all.

Today, the book’s success has far exceeded my expectations—something I could never have imagined. Before publishing, I’d set myself a goal: to reach ten thousand favorites before launch, then accumulate gradually, hoping for twenty thousand by the time I’d written a million words. That goal has already been achieved!

I am extremely fortunate!

Fortunate that my book caught the eye of Boss Latiao, who continued recommending it, never abandoning it even when it didn’t perform well.

Fortunate to have all of you—your company and support!

Fortunate as well that I’ve persisted, for I am striving to be better, to present better work to you all.

In response to your support, all I can do is try my utmost to write this book well, to make it exciting.

Truthfully, it hasn’t been easy to get this far.

Right now, the book is undergoing PK—a critical phase. I hope for your continued support. If you think the book is worth reading, please cast your recommendation votes my way. Rewards are up to you—I won’t press. The results in this phase will determine how far this book can go.

The human heart is hard to satisfy. Although the book’s current performance has surpassed what I once hoped for, now that I’ve reached this point, I want to go further—I want it to be even better!

I will never be satisfied, but I am content.

That’s the conclusion I’ve come to in my recent reflections: I won’t be satisfied with the book’s current achievements, because I want it to keep getting better. But if this is as far as it goes, even if I’m reluctant, I’ll accept it—without complaint—because I am already content. The book has done very well.

These days, I’m under a lot of pressure—not only worrying about the book’s performance, but also for other reasons. Many of you know that I’m a senior about to graduate. There’s a lot going on: yesterday I spent ages sorting out the clothes needed for the class graduation photo, got back late, and was exhausted, so I only managed two guaranteed chapters. Today, I’ll be busy all day with the graduation photo shoot, so again, probably only two chapters. Tomorrow is my thesis defense—very important, so I need to prepare carefully, and probably won’t be able to update until tomorrow night. The day after tomorrow—Tuesday—things will ease up, and I’ll try to update more then! Even if there aren’t many updates these days, I hope you’ll continue to support the book. Thank you!

Finally.

Since I’ve said so much already, let me go off-topic for a moment.

While writing this book, I’ve received support and encouragement, but also negative and even malicious comments. Every book will have fans and detractors. I’m not arrogant or ignorant—I know no book can win everyone’s love, so I don’t expect it. I just want to write this book well, let more people who enjoy it see it, and show you all the best content I can. That’s enough for me.

As for critical comments, I’m not opposed to criticism, and I know there’s room for improvement. But I can’t tolerate malicious abuse, nor do I want to waste time arguing with such people, because it’s pointless. So I delete those reviews. Of course, sometimes even critical but well-intentioned posts get deleted. Why? Because I’ve received the feedback—I’ll take it into account and make changes. But some posts, while not ill-intentioned, could spark heated debates among readers. Some readers, wanting to defend me, might get into arguments with others. I appreciate their loyalty, but I don’t wish for that, because it’s unnecessary. We don’t need to persuade others—nor can we. Everyone reads to relax and unwind; I don’t want to spoil that with drama. If this book can bring a little joy after your work or studies, that’s enough for me to be proud.

Lastly.

This really is the last bit.

About half a month ago, during a phone call with my father, he asked if I’d been writing any novels lately. I hesitated, knowing he didn’t support this pursuit. He doesn’t know much about the industry, but he knows it’s not easy, and my previous books brought little income, so he doesn’t want me to waste too much time and energy on it. After all, as a senior about to graduate, I’ll soon face the pressure of finding a job and supporting myself. He doesn’t want me to be exhausted. I understand his thinking, but I admitted to him anyway.

My university isn’t local—it’s far away in Henan, and I’ve spent almost four years here alone. Maybe college has made me more mature, so we rarely argue anymore. Whenever we talk on the phone or WeChat, our conversations last a long time, usually ending with both of us not knowing what to say and then, after a few minutes of silence, one of us says, “I don’t have anything else to say, let’s talk again in a few days.”

So, when my father asked, I hesitated, but didn’t deny it. By then, the book had already reached over ten thousand favorites—something I was proud of. So, facing his silence, I finally summoned the courage to say, “This is the best-performing book I’ve ever written. If I keep going, maybe I’ll even make enough for instant noodles! I want to keep writing.”

Eating instant noodles has been my pursuit throughout college. Achieving financial independence, starting with being able to buy my own noodles, seemed like a good first step. But I’ve always been lazy, so even now, I haven’t accomplished that yet. But this book has given me hope. Even if it doesn’t do well after launch, I should at least be able to cover a few hundred yuan a month for noodles, right? Instant noodles aren’t cheap these days!

My father didn’t object—I knew he wouldn’t. Since I graduated elementary school, I’ve always made my own decisions; he only offers advice, never interferes. As he says, I walk my own path; in today’s world, no one starves, and if I really fail, there’s always a few plots of land back home to farm. Except, those have been lost due to reservoir construction—so even that fallback is gone.

He may not hope for or support this, but he chose to respect my decision. I can’t let him down. I want to write this book well, to achieve something—not to prove anything, but just so they won’t worry about me. After all, I’m not a child anymore.

So, when I see malicious comments or criticism in the reviews, I don’t retaliate or explain. All I can do is quietly delete those reviews and focus on writing. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable seeing those negative comments, but I don’t let them affect me. If I let them make me doubt myself and get caught in inner turmoil, I’d never have continued writing. When I wrote my previous book, I endured the harshest words and the strangest people, and my fragile heart made me give up on my League of Legends novel. In hindsight, it wasn’t well written, and I have only myself to blame.

But does poor writing mean I deserve to be abused? Maybe. Not everyone approaches others with understanding.

For that reason, I’ve never told my family what I write, nor that I get insulted for it. If they knew their beloved son was being regularly abused online for writing a novel, they’d lose sleep over it.

Fortunately, with this book, the supporters have always been in the majority—I’m lucky. Maybe this book is more humorous and lighthearted, so those who read it tend to be kind and optimistic, with a generous attitude toward life and others, and a forgiving attitude toward me.

Writing this, my emotions are all over the place. I’ve poured out all my thoughts and feelings from this period—my psychological journey with this book. I have no idea how many words I’ve written—on my phone for two or three hours, probably more than a chapter’s worth. Insomniacs in the middle of the night do tend to ramble. Consider this a story, a glimpse into the odd mind of your author.

Thank you for being here with me on this journey!

Finally.

One last “finally.”

If you can, please support this book. No matter what, I will do my best to write it well. Thank you!

And finally, thank you to everyone who read all the way to the end!

Please vote! Please support!

May 20, 2018
Late at night