Chapter Twenty-Six: The Choice

In the faint morning light outside the tent, I opened my eyes. Lying on the folding cot, I felt uncomfortable. It was the first time I rested outside my coffin, and I wasn't used to it at all. Thinking about what happened last night, my mind was a mess.

"Miss, you're awake. Would you like to get up now?" Ang asked respectfully beside me.

"No, let me be alone for a while. There are things I need to think about," I replied to Ang.

"Yes, Miss. Then I will leave you," Ang said before slowly exiting the tent.

Xiaoyou must have confessed to Xingyu last night. I don't know the outcome, but Xingyu likely hasn't accepted yet. Xingyu, what should I do? I decided from the start to silently guard your happiness, but why does it hurt so much, why do I feel so unwilling, so reluctant, as if Xingyu is about to slip away from me? Am I really willing to let go like this? I asked myself, but there was no answer.

"Miss, Miss Xiaoyou is here to see you. Would you like to meet her?" Ang's voice came from outside the tent.

Xiaoyou? Why did she come? I felt a bit confused. "Let her in," I said, pulling myself out of my daze and standing up.

"Nana." Xiaoyou walked into the tent, her face clouded, lacking her usual cheerful smile.

"What's wrong, Xiaoyou?" Her expression startled me—was this still the Xiaoyou I knew?

"Nana, I'm sorry," Xiaoyou said, apologizing as soon as she spoke.

Her apology bewildered me. "Sorry? Why are you apologizing to me?"

"It's because of Xingyu. Nana, you like Xingyu too, don't you?" Xiaoyou explained.

So it was about last night. "Too"—as expected, Xiaoyou likes Xingyu as well, and confessed to him yesterday, I suppose. I shook my head gently at Xiaoyou. "You don't need to apologize to me. Xingyu and I are just friends, nothing more. You're overthinking," I denied firmly.

"Nana, don't hide from me. You like Xingyu. Everyone can see it," Xiaoyou ignored my denial.

Everyone? Who? Xiaoyou, Mochen, or even Xingyu himself? Her words stunned me—was my heart so easy to see through?

"Really, don't worry. Xingyu and I are just friends, only friends," I repeated softly, shaking my head again.

"Only friends? Is it because of your status?" Xiaoyou asked.

"Status?" I echoed her words quietly. "Yes, it's my status. My identity means I can never be with Xingyu. I can't bring him happiness. So, don't worry about me, you have nothing to apologize for," I told Xiaoyou, and myself as well. Yes, wasn't this decided long ago? What is there to hesitate about? As long as Xingyu can be happy, I should be satisfied, I should be content.

"Nana, you..." Xiaoyou started to say something more.

"If you can, please make sure Xingyu is happy," I interrupted, pleading with her.

"Nana." Xiaoyou looked at me, her eyes filled with complicated emotions.

"This is a decision I made myself, the result of long consideration. To be honest, Xiaoyou, I'm a little jealous of you—for being able to confess your feelings bravely, while I can only cower in the shadows and watch him," I said, a hint of melancholy in my voice.

"Nana, do you really want to give up like this?" Xiaoyou pressed further.

"Yes, I've already decided. So, please make Xingyu happy. As a friend, I will bless you both," I said firmly, swallowing the pain in my heart.

"Nana." Xiaoyou's tone was full of deep sympathy.

"Xiaoyou, don't say any more. I want to be alone," I cut her off.

"Alright, then I'll go," Xiaoyou saw I didn't want to continue, so she said goodbye and left.

After Xiaoyou left, I sat quietly on the cot, lost in thought.

"Miss," Ang entered the tent, looking at me worriedly.

"Ang, why? Hadn't I already decided to guard his happiness from afar? But why does making this choice hurt so much?" I murmured.

"Miss, you don't have to force yourself like this. If giving up is too painful, you could make him one of us," Ang couldn't bear to see my pain and suggested softly.

"No, absolutely not." I replied firmly. That, I could never do. To give up the life in sunlight, to be forced to hide in darkness and endure endless loneliness—such a fate would never bring Xingyu happiness. I couldn't let my selfishness burden Xingyu with pain.

"Miss, but is it worth it for you to suffer so?" Ang asked, heartbroken.

"I don't know. It's not something you can measure by worth or not. I never thought about getting anything in return from Xingyu. I just hope he can be happy."

If Xingyu can be happy, I should be satisfied. I would have said that in the past. But now, can I still say it?

I found myself growing more greedy. I wanted to stay by his side forever. I wanted to always see his smile. I wanted to always feel his warmth. But I had no right. I had no right to be with him. I could only hope Xingyu would never see through my disguise.

"Miss," Ang sighed and then left the tent.

"Ang, thank you. But I really can't bear to leave him now. Perhaps this is fate, just as my mother fell in love with my father back then—even in the end, she never regretted it." Seeing Ang's pained expression, I murmured.

"Lilith, are you there? Do you have a moment?" Xingyu's voice came from outside the tent.

Xingyu? Why is he here? "Yes, come in," I called to him, calming the turmoil in my heart. What was it about today? Both Xingyu and Xiaoyou had come to see me, one after another.

"Lilith," Xingyu lifted the tent flap and walked in.

"Xingyu, what's wrong? Is something the matter?" I asked calmly.

"Actually..." Xingyu hesitated, struggling with his words.

I looked at him in confusion.

"Actually, last night Xiaoyou confessed to me. I don't know what to do. My mind is in chaos. I know I shouldn't come to you with this, but I have no one else to talk to," Xingyu said, his eyes apologetic.

I shook my head gently, feeling a bitter irony—who would have thought Xingyu would come to me? Was fate mocking me? I felt an unprecedented sense of heartache.

"Do you like her?" I asked Xingyu.

"I don't know," he replied, self-deprecating.

"If you could never see her again, how would you feel? If she became someone else's girlfriend, how would you feel?" I pressed him.

"Hmm?" My question made Xingyu ponder. "If that really happened, I would feel pain, but I would sincerely wish them happiness," he answered earnestly.

What a fool, always so gentle to others.

"I think I understand now. Thank you, Lilith," Xingyu seemed to have found clarity, thanking me.

"Go, don't let Xiaoyou down," I told him.

"Alright, then I'll be going," Xingyu said goodbye, walking out of the tent with firm steps.

Be happy, you fool.

Welcome, dear readers, to the starting point for the latest, fastest, and hottest serialized works. Mobile users, please continue reading.