Chapter 27: Falling in Love, Heartache, and Blessings

The spring outing had come to an end, and on its final day, Xingyu accepted Yue Xiaoyou’s confession. I watched the radiant smiles of Xingyu and Yue Xiaoyou, brimming with happiness, and silently offered them my blessings.

Now that Xingyu had found his happiness, what about me? How much longer could I stay by his side like this? As this thought crossed my mind, my heart filled with melancholy.

Each time, I silently gazed at Xingyu and Yue Xiaoyou walking hand in hand beneath the sunlight, their backs to me, and the pain in my heart was unbearable. Yet whenever Xingyu and Yue Xiaoyou turned to look at me, I always responded with a sincere smile. The burning sensation of sunlight seeping through my clothes seemed to fade away; all I could feel now was my heart, weeping beneath the mask of a smile. Suddenly, I wished I had never come to the human world; perhaps then, I wouldn’t have been so heartbroken. But to have met Xingyu, I did not regret it.

“Lilith, thank you,” Xingyu said sincerely, holding Yue Xiaoyou’s hand.

“Thank me? Why are you thanking me?” I asked.

“If not for you, I wouldn’t have realized my true feelings. It was you who made me see that I liked Xiaoyou; perhaps I would have kept running away. So, for being able to be with Xiaoyou, I truly thank you,” Xingyu said with heartfelt gratitude.

“You needn’t thank me. You being together is fate’s arrangement; I did nothing at all,” I replied softly, shaking my head. Xingyu, you fool, why must you thank me? Are you trying to make my pain worse? Xingyu, you fool.

“Lilith, we’ll always be friends, won’t we? Always,” Xingyu said again, sincerity in his voice.

“Yes, we’ll always be friends,” I answered earnestly. “As long as you never come to hate me, we’ll always be friends.” In my heart, I added: if Xingyu were to know my true identity, would we still be friends? Would he still say those words?

“Nana, no matter who you are, we’ll always be friends,” as if reading my thoughts, Yue Xiaoyou grasped my hand and pressed it to her chest, speaking with sincerity.

Xiaoyou, my identity is far more complicated than you think. The bloodline, forever unaccepted by humans, eternally shunned and feared, as a princess of that lineage, I know this all too well—I know the depth of human fear.

At this thought, I couldn’t help but look at Xingyu. Perhaps he would be different; after all, Xingyu was always so gentle. Just as mother accepted father’s identity, perhaps Xingyu would accept mine. Yet I lacked the courage—no courage to confess my true self to Xingyu. All I wanted now was to stay by his side a little longer, even if just for a moment. I had always comforted myself with the thought that I would silently guard Xingyu until he found his own happiness. But now that he had, my reason for staying was gone.

Is it time to leave? The thought lingered. But I couldn’t bear it—not to leave Xingyu, not to leave Yue Xiaoyou, not to leave this warmth that had been so hard to find. So let me be selfish a little longer; I truly can’t bear to leave, even if only to watch him silently from afar.

“Lilith, what’s wrong?” Xingyu asked when he noticed I was lost in thought.

I shook my head lightly. “It’s nothing. I just feel so envious of Xiaoyou, to be able to be with the one she loves. I really envy her.” My voice carried a faint sadness.

“Lilith, you’ll definitely find someone you love as well,” Xingyu comforted me.

“Mm,” I replied softly. Will I? No, I won’t. There’s no chance anymore—there never was, from the moment I fell in love with you, it was destined.

“Xingyu, please don’t say any more,” Yue Xiaoyou looked at my sad, aching gaze and spoke to Xingyu. Xiaoyou knew I liked Xingyu, so regardless of what he said now, it could only wound me. Having taken away the one her friend loved, Xiaoyou felt deeply guilty.

“Xiaoyou, it’s all right,” I said gently to her. “You must be happy. I sincerely wish you both happiness forever.” All I could do now was offer them my heartfelt blessings, wishing them eternal happiness, while I curled up in the shadows, silently tending the wound in my heart.

I had resolved to leave quietly once Xingyu found his happiness, to guard him from the darkness, but I was not as carefree as I’d imagined. The pain was overwhelming. I recalled Father’s advice before I left: come home whenever your heart aches. Back then, I scoffed at those words—yes, how could lowly humans ever have the power to make someone as noble as me feel pain? Yet now, when the pain truly came, it was too late. Pride could not ease my suffering; it only made me sink deeper into it. Father, just as you said, I am hurting—but do I still have the courage to return? I no longer have the strength to give up everything, to relinquish the memories I share with Xingyu.

“Xingyu, Xiaoyou, I’ll head back now, so I won’t disturb your time together,” I said, bidding them farewell.

“Mm, leaving so soon? It’s all right, though. If the three of us play together, it’d be even more fun, just like before,” Xingyu said.

Just like before? I’m sorry, Xingyu, but I fear we can never go back to how things used to be. In my heart, I apologized to Xingyu—I could no longer face them as I once did. Please forgive my selfishness. I think from now on, I won’t appear before you again. Xingyu, I’ll silently wish you well in the darkness.

“Xingyu, I’m leaving. Take good care of Xiaoyou, and if you ever make her angry, I won’t let you off,” I said with a smile, masking my pain with feigned threats.

“Heh, don’t worry, I’ll treat Xiaoyou well,” Xingyu responded, gazing at Yue Xiaoyou with gentleness.

How wonderful it would be, if Xingyu could look at me like that. “Ang, let’s go,” I instructed, and under Ang’s protection, I turned and walked away slowly. I dared not stay longer; my eyes were already damp, and I feared that if I lingered, I would break down and cry before Xingyu.

“Miss, is this really all right?” Ang asked, worried as he saw my sorrowful expression.

“This is enough. I am already content,” I replied. What else is there to want? Xingyu had found his happiness, and I could still quietly guard him from the shadows—what more could I ask for? At last, the tears I had been holding back began to flow.

“Miss,” Ang sighed deeply upon seeing my tears.

“Nana...” Yue Xiaoyou murmured softly as she watched my lonely figure recede.

“Lilith...” Xingyu gazed at my departing silhouette, a trace of confusion in his eyes.

At last, the three who had once been close began to part ways, each embarking on the path fate had prepared for them, the path they had once promised to walk together. No one knows what awaits us ahead—whether sorrow or happiness. All we can do is keep moving forward, along the road we have chosen, until the moment our destinies are revealed.