Chapter Thirty-Four: Becoming Your Shadow

“You’re awake, my lady.” Ang’s voice sounded softly by my ear as I opened my eyes.

“I fell asleep again? How long was it this time?” I asked Ang.

“This time, my lady, you slept for only three days,” Ang replied respectfully. “But you’ve suffered a backlash that injured your very essence—your strength has dropped to the rank of marquis.” His voice was edged with concern.

“A marquis, is it? How unfortunate, and at such a time.” I struggled to raise my arm and tried to gather my power, but the weakness was so overwhelming that it even blocked my magic; I could not muster even a shred of it.

“My lady, should we arrange an emergency evacuation? At the very least, until you regain your strength, we should avoid any encounter with the Vampire Council,” Ang suggested.

I shook my head gently. “I won’t leave, Ang. If I do, the Council will turn its sights on Xingyu, and he’ll be in danger. How could I ever let that happen?”

“So you planned to confront the Council directly from the start? That can’t be. My lady, with your body in this state, it will take at least a year to recover, and until then, you are no match for them,” Ang said, his voice tight with anxiety.

“Even if I can’t defeat them, I can at least delay them. After all, they won’t dare truly kill me; they fear Father’s wrath too much. If I weren’t trying to protect Xingyu, I’d have simply returned with them for judgment. At worst, I’d be confined for a while,” I said resolutely.

“My lady, I will not allow you to take such risks in your current state. If you insist, I will go and kill that human myself. Even if it means earning your hatred, I will not hesitate. You said you’ve already dissolved the Blood Pact with him, haven’t you? In that case, killing him would no longer endanger your life,” Ang said coldly.

“Ang, do you want me to suffer all my life as Father has?” I looked at him with a bitter smile. Since Mother’s death, I have never once seen Father smile with true happiness. More often than not, he simply stares blankly at Mother’s chamber alone. Perhaps because I resemble her so much, Father has always been exceedingly fond of me—even more so than Liriel, who is of pure blood. That’s why I always thought Liriel opposed me out of dislike, never realizing she was such a clumsy child, using such awkward means to catch my attention.

Why am I thinking about Liriel again? I laughed at myself—are these the memories that come before death?

“My lady!” Ang cried helplessly. “You’ve already given up enough for that human. Why do you keep torturing yourself like this?”

“Torturing myself?” I was taken aback by his words. Yes, perhaps I have always been tormenting myself. Whenever I have a moment’s peace, Xingyu’s shadow fills my mind. The thought of never again being able to stay by his side makes my heart ache beyond control. So now, I even long for the Vampire Council’s arrival. In the midst of slaughter, perhaps I will stop feeling this pain; in flight, perhaps there will be no time for heartache; and after death, perhaps I’ll feel it no more. That’s what I hope for now.

“My lady, please, just leave this place. Here, you’ll gain nothing but pain. Why persist? Haven’t you realized? To us, humans are like fleeting flowers—only bringing endless pain. Has the Prince’s suffering not awakened you?” Ang pleaded helplessly.

“I know, Ang, I know all of this. But even if it hurts, I still want to stay. Even if it’s like a flower in a mirror or the moon’s reflection on water, untouchable, I still have the right to watch him, don’t I?” I looked at Ang, pleading. “You’ll stay with me, won’t you, Ang?”

“My lady… why must you be so foolish?” Ang’s gaze was full of pain.

“Perhaps this is how I resemble Mother most,” I said to Ang, smiling softly.

Ang let out a long sigh. “My lady, I will guard you always, until my life ends. Your wish is my command. I am willing to become the sword in your hand, cutting down all that stands in your way.” He knelt on one knee and solemnly pledged himself to me.

“Thank you, Ang. Truly, thank you.” Tears welled in my eyes.

“My lady, do you still wish to see him?” Ang asked.

I shook my head softly. Xingyu’s joyful smile with Xiaoyou appeared in my mind. “No, there’s no need. All I want now is to protect his happiness. As long as I can see him happy, that’s enough. I don’t wish to disturb his peaceful life.”

“Ang, starting tomorrow, I’ll watch over Xingyu. But in my current state, I likely won’t be able to appear during the day. So I must ask you to watch over him when the sun is up.”

“I understand, my lady. I will not let you down,” Ang replied respectfully.

“Thank you, Ang. Thank you for staying by my side,” I said with heartfelt gratitude.

“It is my duty,” Ang responded with a gentle shake of his head. “My lady, please rest now. Tomorrow night, I’ll wake you.” He bowed.

“Yes, Ang. I’m counting on you.” I spoke softly, then slowly closed my eyes, drifting into slumber to regain my strength.

The following night, I stood atop the building opposite Xingyu’s home, silently watching his bedroom window.

“Ang, there’s no need for you to accompany me. You can rest for a while,” I said to Ang, who stood quietly behind me.

“It’s fine, my lady. I’ve already rested. You needn’t worry about me,” Ang replied with his usual deference.

“Wait here for me, Ang,” I told him.

“Yes, my lady,” he replied, though his eyes betrayed helplessness.

In an instant, my form vanished from the rooftop and reappeared in Xingyu’s bedroom.

I sat beside his bed, gazing quietly at his sleeping face. The last time I saw him like this was when we made our Blood Pact. Now, I can only guard him from the darkness. I cannot put words to my feelings now—regret, heartache, and a strange sense of fulfillment.

Xingyu, from this day forth, I shall become your shadow. I’ll watch over you from the darkness, shielding you from all harm. It is all I can do for you now. I brushed his lips with a gentle kiss, gazed at him longingly one last time, then vanished from his room.

Stirred by the kiss, Xingyu awoke, his sleepy eyes searching for the blur of a figure vanishing from the room. “Lilith?” he called out toward where I had disappeared.

I heard his voice, but did not pause. Forgive me, Xingyu; I can no longer meet you. I am now just your shadow, and shadows cannot bear the light. So please, forgive my selfishness.

From afar, I watched as Xingyu threw open his window, calling my name into the night, searching for me. Tears slid down my cheeks—some born of pain, some of secret joy.

“Won’t you go to him?” a man’s voice sounded nearby.

“It’s you. What are you doing here? Come to exterminate this vampire?” I mocked him with a cold smile. The Optimist, an A-class vampire hunter with whom I had crossed paths once before, now stood not far away. Ang had already tensed, ready to strike. Though A-class hunters are formidable, Ang’s strength was more than enough.

“Now, now, no need to be nervous. I mean you no harm. I came to express my gratitude, nothing more,” the Optimist said, waving his hand.

“Gratitude? I don’t recall doing anything that warrants your thanks,” I replied icily.

“Rest assured, you saved my beloved daughter’s life. I would never harm you. Fate has brought us together,” he said.

“Your daughter? You mean—?” I was startled.

“Yes, Le Xiaoyou is my daughter. So as her father, I would never harm her friends,” he said, his face growing uncharacteristically grave. “But let me give you some advice: a conspiracy is about to unfold. Be careful. There aren’t many in this world who can truly threaten your life, but still, be wary. Well, that’s enough excitement for one night. I need to get home and sleep.” He waved goodbye and melted into the darkness.

“A conspiracy?” I repeated, pondering his warning. “Let’s hope you’re not coming for me. Otherwise, I’ll make you pay—a price that will make you regret ever being born into this world,” I murmured.

Then I turned my gaze back to Xingyu’s now peaceful bedroom, a trace of tenderness flickering in my eyes.