Chapter Fifty: Lilith’s Heart

“Lilith, so you’re here after all?” The figure approaching me gradually became clearer, his face lit up with joy and softened by a gentle smile—everything exactly as I remembered.
“Xingyu?” I murmured his name.
“Yes, it’s me, Lilith. How did you end up here?” Xingyu looked at me, puzzled.
“How did I get here? Yes… how did I get here?” My gaze became lost.
Seeing my reaction, Xingyu shook his head, half-amused, half-exasperated. “You don’t even know how you got here? You really are scatterbrained. Enough, don’t dwell on it. Let’s go, Xiaoyou is waiting for us ahead.”
“Xiaoyou—is she here as well?” I asked, my voice tinged with confusion.
Xingyu seemed at a loss for words at my response, his tone laced with deep helplessness. “What are you saying? Where else would she be, if not here? Come on, let’s not keep her waiting too long, or she’ll throw a tantrum again.” He shook his head in resignation.
“Yes, let’s go. We shouldn’t let Xiaoyou wait too long,” I replied, quickening my pace toward the front. For some reason, his words filled me with sudden sadness. Why? Everything was just as in my memories—Xiaoyou, Xingyu, the three of us living here in peaceful contentment.
“Nana!” Xiaoyou spotted me from afar and waved excitedly, her vibrant presence lifting anyone’s spirits.
It had been so long since I’d heard her call me that; nostalgia flooded me. “Nostalgia? What am I saying? Am I not right here beside Xiaoyou?”
“Nana, what’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?” Xiaoyou asked, concern in her eyes as she noted my bewildered gaze. “There’s no sun today, is there?” She glanced up at the gray, foggy sky, her voice uncertain.
“The sun?” I asked, confused.
“Yes, Nana, aren’t you a vampire? Wouldn’t sunlight be painful for you?” Xiaoyou replied naturally.
“You both know I’m a vampire?” Shock widened my eyes at her words.
“Lilith, what’s gotten into you today? Xiaoyou and I have known for ages—what’s so strange?” Xingyu came over to explain, “You’ve been acting odd since earlier. Are you really not feeling well? If so, let Ang take you home.” He looked at me with concern.
“I’m fine, really. It’s just… having you both by my side is such a comfort,” I smiled at Xingyu and Xiaoyou.
“Nana, what’s the matter?” Xiaoyou regarded me with confusion, searching my face for any sign of abnormality. “Forget it, I feel the same—it’s wonderful having Nana close by.” She smiled warmly at me.

“What’s with the two of you today, so sentimental all of a sudden?” Xingyu asked, bewildered.
Xiaoyou grabbed my hand and turned to him. “You wouldn’t understand a girl’s feelings, silly. Heehee.” She pulled a funny face at Xingyu.
“It’s wonderful… truly wonderful to have you two by my side.” I repeated the words, tears streaming down my face.
“Nana, what’s wrong?” Xiaoyou panicked at the sight of my tears, and Xingyu watched me, worry etched in his eyes.
“It’s nothing. Just as I said, it’s wonderful having you both here. So, you may die now.” My voice turned cold as a black scythe appeared in my hand, and I swung it mercilessly at Xingyu and Xiaoyou.
“Lilith, why?” Xingyu stared at the gaping wound on his body, confusion clouding his eyes as he repeated the question.
“Because your presence makes me weak. Only by erasing you can I become stronger, free of vulnerabilities. So, you must die.” I gazed down at their lifeless bodies, still staring at me in disbelief, my eyes icy and ruthless.
“That’s enough. Let it end here.” Ignoring the corpses at my feet, I walked forward. “Is this all? If this is it, I am sorely disappointed.” My voice was dismissive.
“Heh… As expected of Princess Liliana—so decisive, even with former companions.” The illusionist’s voice echoed around me with admiration.
“Hmph, coward. If they are my weakness, then killing them is nothing to hesitate over. I won’t allow weaknesses to exist in this world, nor let anyone exploit them.” My tone was flat.
“So you mean, if they were real, you would still kill them without hesitation?” The illusionist’s voice was tinged with surprise.
“Of course. Why should I hesitate? They’re nothing but two lowly humans.” I answered without a trace of doubt.
“It seems the rumors I heard were mistaken, Princess Liliana. Now, I find myself admiring you. If it were me, even knowing they were illusions, I could never act so ruthlessly. You truly are the opposite of what people say—cold and heartless, inspiring fear.” The illusionist’s voice carried a bitter smile.
“Enough. Let me see what else is buried in my heart. If this is all, it’s far too dull.” I addressed the illusionist.
“As you wish. This time, I will unlock the deepest memory sealed within your heart. I hope it will satisfy you.” The illusionist’s voice faded.
“Let me see… What is the deepest memory in my heart?” I said, intrigued.

“Lilith, Lilith.” A gentle woman’s voice echoed in my ear.

Hearing it, I felt a wave of disorientation and unconsciously turned toward the source.
A beautiful woman with golden hair watched a silver-haired girl before her with tenderness.
“Lilith, I am useless—I can no longer stay by your side. But don’t be sad. Even if I am doomed to hell, I’ll bless you from there. Lilith, you must be happy.” The woman stroked the silver-haired girl’s head, her voice gentle.
The silver-haired girl said nothing, only gazing at the woman, her eyes devoid of emotion.
“Lilith, it might be asking too much, but you must try to love someone. If you find someone worthy of your love, someone for whom you’d give everything, give him this ring.” The woman slipped the ring she wore onto a chain, fastening it around the girl’s neck, smiling at her. The girl looked at the necklace, then at the woman, her face still expressionless.
The scene faded, and as I chased after it, another appeared.
Before a gravestone, a tall, handsome man stood silently, pain etched into his features. The silver-haired girl stood beside him.
“Lilith, are you sad?” the man asked.
The girl looked at the gravestone and shook her head.
“Yes, how could you be sad? It’s me, your useless father, who couldn’t save Lady Lydis. Now, I can’t even make you feel sadness or cry. I am truly worthless.” The man spoke in anguish. “I promised Lydis I’d take care of you and ensure your happiness, but I’ve accomplished nothing. I am truly useless.”
The silver-haired girl tugged on the man’s sleeve and gently shook her head.
“Mother. Father.” I murmured as I watched the scene before me.
These are the memories buried in my heart—the ones I never wish to touch, but here they are again. I should feel pain. I should feel anger. Yet, why do I feel nothing at all?
Is it so, after all? Even after so long, I haven’t changed in the slightest. I’m still that cold machine, devoid of emotion, unable even to grieve for myself. I want to feel sorrow, I want to feel rage, but I find myself incapable, not even able to pity myself. My heart is as still as a dead pool, without a ripple.
This is the real me—Liliana Lydis Dracula—a cold machine, a heartless machine, an existence defined by the tragedy of having no feelings.