Chapter 152: The Alluring Diagnosis: Look, Listen, Inquire, and Feel

Fang Rulai couldn't help but massage her brow, feeling utterly helpless toward this man who thought of turnips every waking moment. "Stop messing around. I have too many things to handle today; don't add to the chaos."

Guan Shiyin approached with a gloomy expression. "Just how many things could you possibly have? So many that you can even skip your own wedding ceremony?"

"It's just the ceremony missing, why must you make such a fuss?" Fang Rulai paused her chopsticks, which were holding a piece of braised pork belly. "How about this? You go back first, and I promise you, I definitely won't be absent from the bridal chamber tonight!"

Guan Yue retreated behind the door with dark lines hanging all over her forehead. *Listen to that,* she thought, *it sounds precisely like a busy male master comforting a neglected concubine.* Could a master endure this? Judging by the looks of it, they would probably start arguing halfway through talking, and then roll around fighting halfway through the argument... Better for her to slip away first.

Before leaving, Guan Yue didn't forget to thoughtfully close the back door.

Guan Shiyin stepped forward and grabbed Fang Rulai's hand, stubbornly refusing to let her enjoy the fine mood of eating braised pork belly while he remained so depressed. "Why does what you just said sound more and more like a hookup without any intention of going public? Do you take me for some shameful man who can't see the light of day?"

Fang Rulai immediately broke into a muffled fit of coughing. He actually managed to use such a trendy term as "hookup" so vividly.

After she finished coughing, Fang Rulai glared at him angrily. "Who said we aren't going public? It's just that today happened to clash with other matters. I told you days ago that the Fahua Temple would reopen its gates today; you were the one who insisted on scheduling the wedding for the exact same day!"

"That's because today is a once-in-a-century auspicious date! So what if the Fahua Temple is reopening its gates? Did you stay in the temple the whole time to hold down the fort? Instead, you ran off over here to slack off! Since that's the case, why didn't you hurry back to perform the wedding bows with me?"

"I already told you, it's just a ritual! Everyone who needs to know already knows that I've married you anyway; why must you insist on going through a boring procedure?" Fang Rulai used her hand to push Guan Shiyin away. "Please, I really don't have time to discuss this with you right now. You go first, and we can talk after I get home tonight, alright?"

Of course, Guan Shiyin wouldn't let go of her hand. Not only did he refuse to let go, but he gripped it even tighter, his eyebrows twitching dangerously. "A boring procedure? You consider the wedding ceremony and bowing to be just a boring procedure?"

A flash of impatience crossed the depths of Fang Rulai's eyes, and Guan Shiyin caught it immediately.

"Fang Rulai!" Guan Shiyin lowered his voice, his grip on Fang Rulai's hand tightening unconsciously, over and over again. "Don't tell me you actually think that way!"

Feeling a sharp pain in her wrist, Fang Rulai instinctively thrust out her elbow and gave Guan Shiyin a shove. "Let go!"

Guan Shiyin was caught off guard; he staggered back two steps and tripped over a bamboo basket placed nearby. As the basket tipped over, radishes spilled out everywhere.

"Fang Rulai!" Guan Shiyin glared back in anger. "Don't go too far!"

Fang Rulai, who had already regretted pushing him, wanted to reach out and pull him back, but seeing the furious look in Guan Shiyin's eyes, she pulled her hand back instead. She tugged at her sleeve, concealing the red fingerprint pinched onto her wrist.

Fang Rulai sat back down at the table, picked up her chopsticks, and resumed eating the braised pork belly. "You're in a bad mood today. We shouldn't talk about this right now."

"In a bad mood? Me? Well, congratulations, you guessed right!" Guan Shiyin flicked his wrist, and a gold coin landed between his fingers. With another flick of his wrist, he pinged it, and it struck the exact bowl of braised pork belly sitting in front of Fang Rulai.

*Crash*—the bowl shattered on impact, the meat scattered, and the broth spilled, staining half of Fang Rulai's clothes.

Fang Rulai slammed the table and stood up. "You absolute moron, you..." Halfway through her words, she caught sight of the radishes scattered all over the floor. *Fine,* she thought, *I was in the wrong first.*

Fang Rulai let out a long sigh, turned around, and prepared to leave. "I have matters to attend to. I won't keep you company any longer."

"You dare leave! You..." Guan Shiyin reached out and accurately grabbed Fang Rulai's wrist once more. This time, he forgot to control his strength, prompting Fang Rulai to let out a gasp of pain instinctively.

A pang struck Guan Shiyin's heart, and he cut off the rest of his sentence. Using his other hand, he rolled up Fang Rulai's sleeve, only to discover the clear imprint of five fingers he had left on her wrist.

Connecting this to the shove she had given him earlier, Guan Shiyin instantly realized he was in the wrong. "I'm sorry, I... just now..."

Fang Rulai shook her head to interrupt him. "Forget it. You didn't do it on purpose."

"Then—then let me rub it for you! Let me blow on it!" As he spoke, Guan Shiyin applied both his hands and his mouth to the task.

Looking down, Fang Rulai watched this tall, sturdy man carefully cradling her hand and tending to it with the utmost care like a woman. Suddenly, she felt the inexplicable irritation that had plagued her the past few days simply vanish.

Fang Rulai spoke in a low voice, "Have I ever mentioned that in my hometown, there's a condition called pre-wedding anxiety?"

"Pre-wedding anxiety? I more or less understand what it means." Guan Shiyin looked up at her. "Are you saying you stood me up today because you came down with this illness?"

"More or less, perhaps, possibly."

"Then how can one cure this illness? Which herbal prescriptions need to be taken? Do you have a formula, or should I take you straight into the imperial palace right now for a diagnosis by the imperial physicians?"

At this point, Guan Shiyin's previous anger was entirely replaced by eager anxiety.

The corners of Fang Rulai's eyes curved into a smile. "You're not mad at me anymore? You forgive me? We've made up?"

While Guan Shiyin's hands continued their kneading motion, the expression in his eyes as he looked up still held not a shred of warmth. "I'm angry! I don't forgive you! We haven't made up!"

"You!" Fang Rulai pretended to grit her teeth. "Did I ever mention that in my hometown, being tsundere is also an illness? One that needs treating too?"

"Is that so? It seems I'm already terminally ill without realizing it. Then may I ask Abbot Rulai to use her marvelous rejuvenating hands to cure me?" Having cleared up his inner knots, Guan Shiyin recovered quickly, rubbing his large head until it was less than an inch away from Fang Rulai's face. "No matter where we are, the first step in a medical diagnosis is 'looking,' right? Alright, take a good look! Make sure you look very carefully."

Fang Rulai suddenly had the mistaken illusion that his earlier meticulous care was just a carefully orchestrated conspiracy designed to soften her defenses. Otherwise, how could this blockhead recover so quickly?

Look at this face right before her eyes, making faces and flirting shamelessly. He never missed a single opportunity to seduce her with such shamelessness—didn't he know that doing this too often would create the opposite effect, like the boy who cried wolf?

Fang Rulai blinked speechlessly, shrinking her neck as she prepared to retreat beyond the safety line.

She failed.

Guan Shiyin pinched her chin, stopping her in her tracks.

Guan Shiyin crinkled his nose and leaned in even closer. "The second step should be 'listening,' right? Come on, listen closely: does the jasmine scent your husband is wearing today smell good?"

Fang Rulai drooped her eyelids. This guy was at it again.

"What was the third step again? Ah, 'inquiry'! I'm quite familiar with this one, so you don't even need to ask; your husband will answer on his own initiative. When I bathed and changed my clothes this morning, I put on a new set of inner garments, and they are white."

Fang Rulai nodded. *Understood.* Because of an incident involving bright red undergarments, ever since then, all the undergarments worn by the two of them had turned white.

"From this morning until now, aside from drinking tea, I haven't eaten a thing. However, your husband isn't hungry at all, because before going to sleep last night, I drank a whole pot of tiger whip soup sent over by my maternal grandfather."

Fang Rulai's eyes widened abruptly. *A whole pot?!* No wonder his temper was so explosive just now! Uh... could she take back her promise not to miss tonight?

As if knowing what Fang Rulai was thinking, Guan Shiyin leaned close to her ear, nibbled on it slightly, and said softly, "You just said you wouldn't miss the bridal chamber for the world!"

Fang Rulai's face fell, which only put Guan Shiyin in an even better mood. "Next is the final item, 'palpation.' This one is even easier! Feel free to palpate all you want! Your husband won't put up even the slightest defense."

Fang Rulai wished she could spit in his face. Of course he wouldn't resist, because he was forcefully guiding her hand and shoving it inside his own shirt. "Your husband is aching right here, try palpating this; ah, and right here too, try palpating this as well! Move down, down, yes, right there—it's felt all swollen and distended all day long, hurry up and palpate it for your husband to see if there's any hope left!"