Chapter 38: Assigning Rooms by Appearance

Chapter Title: 038 Assigning Rooms by Looks

A monk, a widow, and a courtesan—sensitive identities that ought to avoid suspicion, now conveniently used by the constables as a legitimate reason for each to dine alone in their own rooms.

Mu Zhijin, holding a blooming sunflower, flashed a seductive smile and said, "The officers are truly meticulous," before ascending the stairs. His room was Sky Suite, the leftmost chamber on the second floor.

Zhu Xishi shrugged nonchalantly, instructed the waiter, "I want a pair of pork elbows," and went upstairs as well. Her room was Earth Suite, the rightmost chamber on the second floor.

Fang Rulai rose but did not follow them upstairs. Her room was not on the second floor, but on the ground floor—specifically, the storeroom in the backyard.

As for the criteria for assignment? Naturally, it was by looks.

Regarding this, Jin the courtesan smiled like a sunflower: Fair!

Zhu Xishi bared her teeth at Fang Rulai: Do you mean to say I haven't grown out of that effeminate phase?

As the one unanimously deemed the least attractive, Fang Rulai not only remained silent but enthusiastically offered to the constables, "Since I’m in the backyard anyway, why don’t I help tend to your steeds—remove the saddles and add some fodder? You officers have had a long journey!"

The constables were delighted; none of them wanted to bother with the horses now. All their thoughts and desires were fixed on a single wish: for nightfall to come quickly!

For only when darkness fell would the effects of the drug begin, and their long-planned carnal fantasies could be realized without restraint.

Night finally arrived, as anticipated.

After instructing the waiter, "No matter what sounds you hear from the rooms, do not disturb," the constables quickly formed the groups they'd arranged during the journey. Three teams, each of three, headed simultaneously for Sky Suite, Earth Suite, and the storeroom.

The six assigned to the second floor soon departed happily, but among the three assigned to the ground floor, grumbling could not be suppressed.

"Hey, tell me, brothers, why is it in Great Wei they get either a beautiful widow or a seductive courtesan, while we’re stuck with a dull little bald monk?"

"Well, it's just that their luck with drawing lots was better than ours."

"Luck? Nonsense! When I went to the latrine, I overheard that those guys tampered with the lots beforehand to get the good ones."

"So what if they did? We'll switch in the second half of the night anyway. Doesn't matter if you go first or last, everyone gets a turn."

"How can that be the same! The first gets the fresh, juicy sugarcane; the later ones only get leftover pulp. Never mind the taste, the texture is worlds apart!"

"So what do you suggest?"

"What do I suggest? We go together! Since it’s all queueing, I’d rather queue for the good stuff. With bird’s nest and abalone on offer, who’d want shriveled string beans?"

That made sense! The three assigned to the ground floor quickly reached a consensus: "Should we head upstairs too? Let’s go!"

"Let’s!"

But as soon as they opened the door, they couldn’t move.

Three people stood blocking the entrance.

Fang Rulai, in the middle, wore a gloomy expression and stepped forward first. "Bah! You’re the shriveled string beans, your whole family’s nothing but shriveled string beans!"

Zhu Xishi, hands on hips, laughed so hard she bent over. "Bird’s nest, abalone, string beans? For people with waterlogged brains, your poetic talent is surprisingly impressive!"

Mu Zhijin sniffed the sunflower in his hand, quietly closed the door behind him. "Before bird’s nest, do you really think there’s a difference between abalone and string beans?"

Zhu Xishi’s laughter abruptly stopped; her mouth hung open. What did he mean?

Fang Rulai snorted with amusement and gladly added, "He means he’s the fair and exquisite bird’s nest, while you’re the dark, ugly, and fishy abalone."

"Zhijin, you dare insult me?" Zhu Xishi leapt at Mu Zhijin.

Mu Zhijin sidestepped and swung his leg, striking Zhu Xishi’s waist. "Butcher, calling you abalone is already elevating you."

"Ah!" Zhu Xishi shrieked as she was kicked toward the three, who stood dumbfounded, unable to comprehend the situation.

She exaggeratedly widened her eyes. "I can’t fight! Whoever catches me tonight, I’ll keep them company all night long."

"Ah? Ah, I’ll catch you, I’ll catch!" The three instantly stretched out their arms.

Zhu Xishi began to descend from the air. "Then let me thank you, gentlemen—"

Bang! Zhu Xishi landed squarely in the arms of the three.

She propped her head on her arm, curling her finger. "…gentlemen, which of you will go first…"

Bang! Zhu Xishi dropped further, finally landing on the floor.

Opposite her, each of the three constables had a sunflower thrust through their throats.

Zhu Xishi clutched her waist as she stood. "Zhijin, you hurt me!"

Mu Zhijin, having succeeded, was already preparing for the next group. "Would you like another pair of pork elbows to recover? There are two more groups to deal with."

Fang Rulai had no time for their squabble and called out, "Banxia, time to work."

Whoosh—a dark shadow appeared at once. "Yes, Mistress."

In a blink, the newcomer grabbed and carried away the three corpses. Zhu Xishi barely registered what happened before it was over.

This time, Zhu Xishi truly felt she had fallen for nothing.

"Wasn’t that fool you mentioned the only one sent by Guan Er?"

"No," Fang Rulai replied.

Mu Zhijin, perched on the beam, interjected, "I’m simply not fully recovered, not useless at all."

But Zhu Xishi ignored him. "That one called Banxia, was he sent by her too?"

"Yes," Fang Rulai answered. If it weren’t for double arrangements, how could she have traveled so confidently?

Zhu Xishi stepped forward and grabbed Fang Rulai’s neck. "Why didn’t you just have Banxia act directly? Why did you make me fake a fall to lure the enemy? Do you know what you did to my waist—"

Fang Rulai ignored the hand at her throat and reached out to rub Zhu Xishi’s waist. "Afterward, I’ll make sure you get two more pairs of pork elbows to recover!"

"You!" Zhu Xishi’s hair nearly stood on end, knowing full well that wasn’t what she meant.

Fang Rulai patted Zhu Xishi’s hand, signaling her to let go. "This can’t be explained in a couple of sentences. Let go first; we need to deal with the other two groups."

"…Fine, I’ll tolerate it for now." Zhu Xishi gritted her teeth and reluctantly released her grip. Just as she did, constables’ voices came from outside.

"Great Wei, I just heard a scream that sounded like a widow—probably from this room."

"This room? Isn’t this the one we just left? Ah, I see. Zhang Third and the others were jealous we got the good ones first, so they swapped out our premium goods for outsiders, bringing our good goods here instead. Well played, Zhang Third!"

"Too bad he was careless and made noise. Brothers, enough talk. Let's each go in through the two windows and the door, grab the goods first. Hmph, trying to cut the line? Not a chance!"

Many thanks to the lovely &! Manman! ^_$ for daily encouragement—your positive energy definitely inspired more chapters, thank you so much!

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