Chapter 34: My Home Is Not a Bird, but a Tree

Alpha Ji had completely become an ardent fan of Gun Gun, to the point where nothing else existed for her. She was utterly oblivious to the fact that she was currently in an invisible state, theoretically visible only to Ye Chao... She also failed to notice that Xu Tiange was approaching the equally proud orange cat; Fang Ju was being greeted by an especially rolling turtle; Guan Junyuan was the owner of the flightless parrot; and that massive python, thick as a barrel, belonged to Yao Dexian, the neighborhood chief...

Basically, every household in River City had at least one pet, if not more. Returning from their internships, the adults were too busy to welcome them, so they sent their pets instead. These animals were clearly far more intelligent and powerful than those before the catastrophe—each possessed the intellect of a young child, save for lacking speech.

Well, some could speak, and once they started, they were rather noisy, such as...

"Old Guan, your bald head is shining again!"

"I've told you so many times, this won't do. Only monks are bald. If you keep this up, you'll never find a partner..."

"You can't just sacrifice romance for higher output, can you?"

"Though we're in the apocalypse now and strength matters most, looks never go out of fashion!" The cockatoo preened the feathers atop its head, narcissistically. "Look at me, the grand bird..."

Amid the roars of dragons and tigers, the squawks of turtles and birds, Alpha Ji wandered in a daze, lost in Gun Gun's aura, and together with Ye Chao—though mainly with Gun Gun—requested leave from their teacher, left the group, and wandered through the lower city’s streets, old and abandoned, until they unknowingly arrived before a jungle—the inner forest of River City.

Along the way, Alpha Ji, still trembling and screaming, managed to utter one fairly normal sentence: "Gun Gun, oh Gun Gun, come to think of it, I don’t even know your name?"

"Gun Gun. What else would you call Gun Gun?" Ye Chao replied, puzzled.

"Mm-hmm!" Gun Gun nodded.

Unlike the cockatoo, Gun Gun wasn’t particularly gifted with words, but could manage "mm-hmm," "baa," "chirp," "clatter," "woof," and similar sounds.

Before its super-evolution, Gun Gun could make thirteen different noises; if it doubled that, it could cover the twenty-six letters of the alphabet and invent a whole new language.

"Gun Gun, really? That’s as unoriginal as dogs barking 'woof' or cats meowing 'meow.' Can’t you be a bit more sincere?" Alpha Ji snapped.

[Ye Chao Favorability -44]

"Not 'Gun Gun,' just Gun Gun," Ye Chao replied earnestly, completely missing Alpha Ji’s irritation.

○|￣|_...

Alpha Ji refused to speak further with Ye Chao and threw ninety-nine dogs at him.

It was an emoji pack, but Alpha Ji could now make it real—at least, it looked real.

Unexpectedly, this piqued Gun Gun’s interest. As Alpha Ji threw a dog, Gun Gun pounced on it. At first, Gun Gun might have thought Alpha Ji was attacking Ye Chao, barking "woof woof" in anger. Later, realizing the dogs were harmless, it turned into a panda-versus-dog game... Gun Gun was agile, bounding and leaping about, as lively as a husky.

Soon enough, Alpha Ji forgot her original intent, tossing dogs everywhere, even as Ye Chao’s favorability broke through the -1300 mark and continued its arduous climb toward zero.

[Gun Gun Favorability +33]

[Ye Chao Favorability +16]

[Gun Gun Favorability +23]

[Ye Chao Favorability +11]

...

Amid laughter, panda howls, and Alpha Ji’s shrieks, the group entered the city jungle, which was noticeably shorter and sparser than the wild.

At first, Alpha Ji thought Ye Chao needed the restroom and pondered how to position herself. Gradually, she realized something was off.

The lights in this jungle were far brighter than those on the street, both in number and power, dazzling in their shifting colors, like a rainbow galaxy.

Under the lights, the lush jungle took on a mystical, dreamlike hue, reminiscent of the dazzling, enchanting nightscapes of a metropolis before the catastrophe.

But... compared to the fruits growing on these trees, the colors were hardly magical.

"Sausages, are those sausages?" For a moment, Alpha Ji even forgot about Gun Gun, circling what she first thought were cucumbers in every direction. They looked like sausages, smelled like sausages—if they were the right size, she’d definitely try one.

Baobab trees may bear bread-like fruit, but these here were unmistakably sausages!

Though the lighting was dim, she could clearly see the words "Sweet Corn Sausage" and the Shuanghui logo on the casing.

"Yes, those are sausages," Ye Chao confirmed her guess.

And not just sausages!

Have you ever seen trees that grow long biscuits? Or chocolate? Or noodles—especially the curly, instant kind?

Compared to this, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, eggplants, crisp little cabbages—a whole vegetable garden on one tree—were nothing, a basic operation.

It truly was basic.

And if you ever see a tree bearing steaks, chicken wings, copper ingots, iron bars, gears, pliers, hammers, screws, nuts, planks, white paper, or even a crystalline gem-like silicon crystal...

That was definitely silicon crystal. Others might not recognize it, but Alpha Ji, a member of the supercomputing project team, would never mistake it.

"My goodness! What is all this?" Alpha Ji felt her worldview had twisted enough to circle the Earth eighteen times.

But even more shocking revelations awaited her.

"This is my father," Ye Chao answered, pointing to the tree with screws, planks, paper, and silicon crystals.

Looking closely, there was indeed a plaque on the tree: "Ye Shulou, 2007~, River City resident..."

"Oh, it’s your father’s grave," Alpha Ji realized, clapping her hands and saluting the peculiar tombstone.

Gun Gun imitated her, clapping its paws in salute.

"It’s not my father’s grave, this tree is my father," Ye Chao clarified. "Didn't I tell you? My family isn’t birds, we’re actually trees."

Alpha Ji: Σ(っ°Д°;)っ

Is that your punchline?

She thought she was hearing things, or perhaps misunderstood Ye Chao—maybe there was another explanation. But no matter how she tried to reason, she couldn’t make sense of it. Ye Chao seemed genuinely serious...

"Crack crack," the sound of breaking, like an avalanche, echoed.

Alpha Ji’s worldview no longer needed to twist—it just shattered.